657

Joke of the Day

"Impotence: Nature's way of saying, ""No hard feelings"""

"What do cows do for fun? They go to the mooooo-vies."

"How did the guy from Kentucky find his sister in the woods? Pretty good!"

"I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday Not only is it terrible, it's terrible."

"I got arrested for breaking into the Chinese restaurant. Don't worry, my attorney said that I'll probably wok."

"Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you last month? Me: The package said ""Take on an empty stomach"" so, not yet."

"Uhm, excuse me waiter... I'd like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram."

"Might see you guys in 15-25yrs. Weekend with my folks & it's only a matter of time before I snap."

"Looks like the UK didn't read the fine print when cutting off ties with the EU... You Brexit, you bought it."

"My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes"