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Joke of the Day

"Looks like the UK didn't read the fine print when cutting off ties with the EU... You Brexit, you bought it."

"""What's taking the pharmacist so long? It's just one prescription"" *behind the counter the pharmacist is sinking in quicksand and screaming*"

"I heard there was a paedophile roaming my neighbourhood. I don't know who it could be, nearly all of my neighbours are sexy little kids..."

"I was only mildly famous in the '90s but vaccinate your kids"

"What's the best part of living in Alabama? You don't live in Mississippi."

"If ""The Breakfast Club"" were filmed today, it would be a silent movie about 5 teens looking at their phones."

"Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Huge tits."

"The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. ""For whosoever we are about to eat may the Lord make us truly thankful."""

"Short seal joke A baby seal walks into a club"

"Friend - You smell nice, what's that perfume you're wearing? Me - Fear and fabric softener."