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Joke of the Day

"I got arrested for breaking into the Chinese restaurant. Don't worry, my attorney said that I'll probably wok."

"I can really relate to eminem in ""8 mile"" because my moms spaghetti is really bad too"

"I said to the porn producer I couldn't take any more dick... So I got the sack."

"Why did Serj Tankian cross the road? because he wanted to..."

"The Millionaire by Ivor Fortune"

"My girlfriend's dad accused me of being a pedophile just because she's 18 and I'm 32. It really ruined our 10th anniversary."

"What is another way to describe a cat ? A heat seeking missile !"

"A man goes to the library and asks for a book about suicide. The librarian stares at him for a while and then asks ""But who is going to bring it back?"""

"What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather ? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain !"

"Guy asked me today if I've ever owned a dog. I was like lmao yeah I own dogs all the time they can't even say shit back"