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Joke of the Day

"CARTOON VILLAIN: how did you know it was me who robbed the bank COP: you were literally carrying around giant bags with dollar signs on them"

"If i had a dollar for everytime someone called me a racist black people would probably come rob me."

"What subreddit is the same as a recycling machine and will disappoint people [removed] ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Yesididjustcombine2jokes"

"I went on a date last night with a tiny lobster. Its didnt work out. She was a little shellfish."

"Which company makes the best apple cider? Dicken's. Because everyone wants their Dicken's Cider."

"Made alphabet soup for a friend The next day he came to me holding his stomach. I asked him what was wrong. He said that the soup gave him a ""vowel"" movement!"

"Why are prison escapees so frustrating? Because they never finish their s"

"I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything... ...trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself."

"An art teacher comes across a badly made nude painting. What does she say? ""This butt a scratch!"""

"My girlfriend wants to replace the beige outlets in my house with white ones. And then she gets mad when I tell her to stop promoting white power."