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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do space aliens put on their windows? A: Venutian blinds."

"Why are horse-drawn carriages so unpopular? 'Cause horses are rubbish at drawing"

"I used to be the 2nd best boxer in North America... I boxed in over 100 matches and always came 2nd"

"Is there a button you can push to take back when you're accidentally nice to someone, so they know you still hate them?"

"What runs well and efficiently except when you need it to? The Seattle Seahawks"

"What doesn't belong in this list? Wife, eggs, meat, blowjob. Blowjob doesn't belong. Why? Because you can beat your eggs, your meat, or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob!"

"My lighter has two settings: 1: Spark, spark, spark 2: No left eyebrow"

"I just ate a salad that was so bad, Nicolas Cage is starring in a movie about it."

"Mickey and Minnie Mouse go to divorce court The judge says to Mickey, ""Mickey! You say your wife is crazy."" Mickey replies, ""No I didn't, I said she was fucking Goofy!"""

"Went by the house where I grew up. Asked to go in to look around, but they said no and shut the door in my face. My parents can be so rude."