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Joke of the Day

"What doesn't belong in this list? Wife, eggs, meat, blowjob. Blowjob doesn't belong. Why? Because you can beat your eggs, your meat, or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob!"

"Things I've learned on Twitter: 1. A Twitter Crush is not a soft drink 2. Naps rule 3. Pants are optional 4. Everybody hates Nickelback"

"A Jew walks into a bar Mitzvah"

"I eat slowly, so I can't ever live in Moscow. Everyone's Russian there."

"I hate when I meet a beautiful woman and have to leave bc someone who beat me in a rap battle is walking my way"

"How many software developers does it take to fix a light bulb? none, its a hardware issue."

"Someone at my work stole my microsoft office bundle. I'm going to hunt him down and take it back. You have my word!"

"Why did the banker resign? His customers lost interest in him."

"Don't be a racist! Be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican. Oh and he jumps like a Black man and grabs coins like a Jew."

"I'm a bit racist. I think F1 is much better than NASCAR."