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Joke of the Day

"I like my men like I like my chess players... They know how to make an opening."

"PIG: ""I'm paranoid everyone's trying to turn me into bacon"" PSYCHIATRIST: ""I'll cure you"" PIG: ""Oh God, not you too"""

"Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the 2nd one would have ducked..."

"I caught up with my old English teacher. ""What's new?"" he asked. I said, ""An adjective."""

"What is better than coming second in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded. Sorry guys. Poor taste. But it is what it is."

"How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day in January? He goes into the barn and slips into a warm Jersey."

"How do 2 psychics greet each other? ""Hello, how am I?"" ""You're fine, how am I?"""

"Google Fonts walks into a bar . . . The bartender says, ""we don't serve your type."""

"Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes? In the L Ron cupboard."

"*at the movie theater* umm ok the hackers also said theyd do a terror unless u giv me unlimited free popcorn and uh.. also that guys popcorn"