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Joke of the Day

"How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day in January? He goes into the barn and slips into a warm Jersey."

"99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code Take one down, patch it around, 126 bugs in the code"

"What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit? Post on Sundays."

"I asked the waitress if she wanted a good tip and a quickie. She said: Just the tip."

"Step 1: Walk without rhythm, Step 2: Ride the worm Step 3: Prophet"

"What would you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks"

"I met a girl with 12 nipples today. She was a bitch."

"My girlfriend found lipstick in my jacket pocket. I told her straight up I was cheating. There's no way that I was going to confess that I sell Avon"

"'The victim was beaten with a porcelain angel figurine, suspect confirmed to be an Irishman' 'I guess you could say he was Knick-Knack Paddy Whacked.'"

"Whenever a long lost friend calls me, I get suspicious & wonder if he's calling me to sell Amway products.."