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Joke of the Day
"Today I bought cupcakes without sprinkles. Diets are hard."
Next Joke
"Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor."
"Hangover status: playing duct, duct, tape with the kids."
"I quite enjoy blowing air around a room. In fact, I'm a big fan."
"What was the last thing Beethoven accomplished? Decomposing"
"My cat died. But I know he'll forever live on in passwords."
"New Parent Idea: 1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest. 2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he's 10."
"What's the difference between erotic and kinky ? Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use a whole chicken."
"Eventually we'll all just have one app on our phones that electrocutes you when you stop looking at it."
"Diff Good Girl & Bad Girl What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home."