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Joke of the Day

"My Mother texted me and asked ""What does TTYL mean?""... I replied, ""Talk to you later"". So she responded, ""No! Talk to me now! What does it mean?"""

"Sometimes when your sad, no one cares. Sometimes when you cry, no one sees. Sometimes when you leave no one notices. But fart just one time."

"Did you hear about the chicken who liked classical music? I swear it was all he talked about. He would go on and on. ""Bach, Bach, Bach""!"

"Never try to annoy someone with bird puns Because toucan play at that game."

"Did you know what 6.9 is? its a good thing screwed up by a period"

"Why is it illegal to commit suicide? You aren't allowed to damage the government's property."

"You treat your body like a temple? That's nice. I treat mine like a whorehouse above a liquor store next to a motherfucking Taco Bell."

"Why didn't the oyster have any friends? He was shellfish. Woo! Been thinking for days trying to come up with some OC to blast your brains with."

"A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex. Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby"

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause."