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Joke of the Day

"Two atoms were crossing the road... ...when the first atom screams ""Ahhhhh! I lost an electron"". The second atom asks ""Are you sure?"" to which the first atom replied ""Yes, I'm positive."""

"Croc sandals are like getting a blowjob from a dude... They feel amazing but you realize how gay you are when you look down."

"People say I'm not very responsible, when in fact I'm responsible for ""pajama casual"" being added to the employee handbook as inappropriate."

"What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesarus (Credit goes to whoever submitted that to the Coffee News)"

"You could kidnap my mom and she'd still ask if you've eaten."

"Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?"

"A woman walked into the sexual harassment and textiles store, she got felt."

"The downside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg The upside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg"

"What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge? ""No, Woman, no pie."""

"I like first aid classes its the only time I get to be touched by a caring human."