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Joke of the Day

"If a tree falls in the woods... If a tree falls in the woods, and Republicans aren't around to hear it, is it still Obama's fault?"

"The last time I wet the bed... ...I was pretty pissed."

"Yesterday my wife caught me checking out our hot new neighbor and all she had to say to me was, ""It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home""."

"If you're a registered sex offender, do you get a discount?"

"Republicans, don't forget to set your clocks back 50 years"

"Cool prank: lead 50 pugs to the top of a waterslide & send them down 1 by 1 as the parents waiting at the bottom get increasingly confused"

"If the creator of facebooks likes getting hurt... Is he a zucker for pain?"

"I have trouble ending small talk. Some guy I started talking to in 1998 on a bus is still talking to me. His name is Gary. He hates rain."

"Why does waldo wear stripes? So he isn't spotted."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss"