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Joke of the Day
"Why does everyone hate Hitler? The man was a hero... After all he did kill Hitler"
Next Joke
"I'm a ventriloquist. I can put my hand up your skirt and make your lips move!"
"TIFU by reading a TIFU I forgot they're always horrible. Tl;dr: TIFU = bad"
"Airport receptionist: anything to declare? Me: how bout these guns? *flexes* Her: OH GOD HE'S GOT GUNS! Me: wait.. I was.. Her: HELP!! AGH!"
"My wife must think I'm a god... She keeps giving me burnt offerings !"
"Why do scuba-divers jump backwards into the water? Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat."
"Battlefield calls 911 Battlefield: Hi I'd like to turn myself in for a murder 911: Who's the victim? Battlefield: Call of Duty"
"Did you hear about the guy that shits out jars? He's a real glasshole, that guy"
"What do you call a smug prisoner walking down stairs? A condescending con descending"
"Demi Lovato is my favorite singer that is half human, half Lovato."