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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy that shits out jars? He's a real glasshole, that guy"

"My favorite thing about myself is that I'm humble."

"Which 2 Birthdays go by the quickest? the twenty second ones and the thirty second ones"

"Why is the twin towers and gender the same. There used to be two of them but now it's to offensive to talk about."

"What is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? oral sex can make your day, but anal sex can make your hole weak"

"Vegetables They never knew what hit em"

"coworker: did you hear someone used all the charity money to buy snacks from the vending machine me: *laughing nervously* that's awful"

"I'm starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I'll never ever use one again. I'm so excited about it. Yes."

"No James, that isn't a giant peach... ...that is Nicki Minaj walking away from us."

"How do you make a sports science major cry? Remind them that high school is over."