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Joke of the Day

"In congested traffic, it's best to stay on the right side of the road. It'd be a real tragedy if you were on the wrong side."

"Every man's dream is to wake up with two women in bed. One saying ""good morning honey"" and the other ""good morning daddy""."

"If you're meeting someone, get to the place early so you'll have a few minutes to kick back and repeatedly text, ""Where are you"""

"Floyd Mayweather was asked about remarks made by critics on last night's fight. He said ""I don't tend to read into things"""

"Why did the Vietnamese woman get a career as a prostitute? Because she likes Dongs."

"Look Mr. Tech Support Dude, you asked if I had any more questions. Sorry if ""What are you wearing?"" wasn't what you had in mind."

"Between Man of Steel, This Is The End, and Pacific Rim, I've seen around 5 billion people die this summer. A personal best."

"I want to get married just so I can throw my wedding ring in anger. I bet it's a lot cooler than aggressively untying a friendship bracelet."

"I can't remember where I parked my car an hour ago but I can recall how stupid I was at 20. Please God erase that memory & bring back my car"

"Jesus said unto John, ""Come fourth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and won a toaster."