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Joke of the Day

"I can't remember where I parked my car an hour ago but I can recall how stupid I was at 20. Please God erase that memory & bring back my car"

"What did the tree say to the math teacher? Gee I'm a tree!"

"When dealing with the police it's important to always remain calm and be white."

"Why shouldn't you buy trousers from northern Ukraine? Chernobyl fallout"

"I overheard a voyeur couple talk... ... about how they needed to start seeing other peepholes."

"Each week our panel of 3 celebrity chefs compete to create the ultimate final meal for a death row inmate on LAST SUPPER, this fall on FOX"

"Ive got an idea for a Halloween party costume... I'll go only in my pants so when people ask what I'm whereing I'll say, "" Im premature ejaculation, so I just came in my pants."""

"A Muslim suicide bomber joins Reddit **Edit: Wow, this blew up!"

"Thank god for smart phones I was getting tired or reading the back of shampoo bottles while in the bathroom"

"The line ""Do you come here often?"" Has a zero percent success rate at the abortion clinic."