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Joke of the Day

"Jesus said unto John, ""Come fourth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"Where do all them scrub gamers live? Pleblos"

"Dogs can't operate an MRI machine But catscan"

"My pet mouse Elvis died today He got caught in a trap."

"Do I turn left when nothing is right? Or do I turn right when there's nothing left?"

"A laugh track, but for every time my boss says ""I need this done today."""

"How does a Rabbi make tea? Hebrews it."

"What do you think of wearing a straight jacket? I think I could pull it off"

"[NSFW] Did I ever tell you guys about my idea for a line of sex toys marketed towards sleazy women? I'm calling it ""Toys for Thots."""

"The most tedious aspect of my job is the part where I have to jiggle the mouse every 30 minutes to keep the screensaver from activating."