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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Pakistani mosque and a Afghanistan mosque and an Iraqi mosque? How should I know, I just fly the drones."

"If someone stands you up and doesn't call, stay positive. They could be dead."

"If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time."

"I don't mind the NSA reading my Word documents. It means that at least someone will read the first draft of my novel."

"what currency does the sun use? starbucks"

"A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame."

"What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in? The Woof of Wall Street."

"""Mr. Trump how will you beat Hillary Clinton?"" TRUMP: I'll win NY, Florida, Ohio, we're going to add states, Gerzona, Timbaland, Waterworld"

"Did you hear about that deaf guy that tried climbing Mount Everest? Neither did he. Worst part was, no one ever heard from him again."

"What did the stoner say to his girlfriend? We'd be good together."