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Joke of the Day

"These kids today need to show a little respect to those of us, who fought for, and won, the right to party."

"What's the fastest animal in the world? A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal? ... The ethiopian chasing it."

"At first I didn't like my new haircut But it's starting to grow on me"

"What do you call a handjob in a swimming pool? A pull noodle"

"What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandyhook survivor. ...."

"Why do asians squint all the time? Because nukes are so bright"

"I just got back from r/Synesthesia It tasted great!"

"What do you call it when the bull impales the bullfighter? A hole in Juan!"

"Life is like a packet of jelly beans Nobody likes the black ones"

"What did the vegetables say at the garden party? Lettuce turnip the beet"