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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee how I like my women... Cold."
Next Joke
"Me: I've invested heavily in hedgehog funds. You: I think you mean hedge funds. *opens door to roomful of hedgehogs* Me: Nope."
"Why is the apostrophe always near an ""s""? Because it is possessive"
"*joaquin phoenix croses a street adn almost gets hit by a taxi* *mumbles to himsef* cmon man whyd he try to do that. i mean, im joaquin here"
"Since I can't afford porn, I just turn on tennis and shut my eyes."
"[table of 6 year olds in lab coats] How are we supposed to find a cure for cooties if we *bangs fist on table* CAN'T EVEN FIND WALDO?!"
"What US state has the most cows? Moosouri!"
"When they say ""all expenses paid"" does that include bail?"
"What's red and goes ""Oh, Oh, Oh!""? Santa walking backwards."
"I like my girls like my whiskey Aged 18 years and single"