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Joke of the Day
"I like my girls like my whiskey Aged 18 years and single"
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"""Reddit is a shopping website"" That's what my sister said."
"A liar, a murderer, and a cheater walk into a bar. The New England Patriots must be in town."
"Google Assistant gave me that one What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener"
"[feeding baby] Here comes the plane! *baby swallows food* wow you just ate everyone on board. way to go you little jerk"
"Champagne says I'm classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks."
"I gave my family moving pictures for Christmas today. They were great gifs"
"dates 1-4: let me tell u about my extremely normal hobbies and interests date 5: i don't think the moon is real"
"Why did the mexican push his wife over the bridge? ""Tequila"""
"According to Ron Burgundy... According to Ron Burgundy from *Anchorman*, people from San Diago are known as Sandiagons. Then what are people from Tampa called?"