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Joke of the Day

"Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics? All that backstabbing was too much for him."

"Yo mama so fat her nickname is ""Lardo"""

"Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it."

"[gets out of tanning bed with a grilled cheese sandwich]"

"Some days i think im slightly intelligent, other days i try to take a screenshot of my cracked phone screen"

"Facebook Faithful on your wall, but cheating in your inbox."

"The elevators are broken & I work on the 17th floor. Pretty sure I'm the first person ever to use the phone in reception to call in sick."

"I'm that guy who plays Pictionary and draws the shittiest representation of the clue and spends the entire time circling it at various speed"

"Did you hear the news about the collision between two black holes? It's really making waves."

"Keep your friend's clothes in your enemy's toaster."