225088

Joke of the Day

"I'm that guy who plays Pictionary and draws the shittiest representation of the clue and spends the entire time circling it at various speed"

"I recently had to bury my beloved grandmother in the local graveyard. She should be dead by now"

"""Grandpa, grandpa! Tell us again about the time you whittled a 189 character idea down to a perfect 140 character tweet!"""

"I asked my friend from North Korea how it was to live there. He said he couldn't complain."

"Why is Donald Trump gay? The Chinese beemhole been trippin hardcore nomsayin'?"

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. How long have you felt like this? Ever since I was a puppy!"

"Him: ""Can we have a Doritos themed wedding?"" Me: ""no."" Him: ""well, what kind of chips would you prefer?"""

"Nobody in this neighborhood ever got along until we all hated your rooster."

"What did the swollen prostate say during the prostatectomy? I'm out, urine."

"I hate it when homeless people shake their change cups at me. I get it, you have more money than me. No need to be a dick about it."