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Joke of the Day

"Some days i think im slightly intelligent, other days i try to take a screenshot of my cracked phone screen"

"What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions? An emo-g "

"Just got out of the shower and lotioned up Unfortunately I'm not a chick so this won't get 624 faves"

"Steve Irwin lived like he died... ...with animals in his heart."

"People who leave their underwear at parks are either awesome at sex or terrible at dressing raccoons."

"Back to the Future IV: Marty Mcfly stops being obsessed with his own family and goes back in time to kill Hitler."

"Why did the Muslim cross the road? His dick was stuck in the goat"

"DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance."

"Was that pun intended? Nope, unintended."

"Walmart is giving away dead batteries for the holidays... Free of charge"