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Joke of the Day

"The Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Manti's girlfriend walk into a bar... Rimshot!"

"How do you give a quadriplegic a headache? Ask him to hold open the elevator door"

"Lance Armstrong flew to NY yesterday to fight the allegations of doping. ... would have been more convincing if he'd taken a plane, though."

"wife: Why is 9 crying? me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep"

"I don't trust this Obama guy... I think he lies a lot. First he says he's 52, and then the next year he's 53. Which one is it?"

"Why don't they have gambling in Africa? There are too many cheetahs."

"I feel bad for Anne Frank She had her diary published for all the world to read, which is every girl's worst nightmare! And she didn't get paid for it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare."

"GUY: How do you make a living? FRANKENSTEIN: make a living what?"

"Do you wanna play lion tamer? she asks: ""What is that?"" you say: It's when you get on all fours and I put my head in your mouth."

"I had surgery today... It was touch n go at first until the doctor came in and made me stop playing grab ass with the nurses."