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Joke of the Day

"I don't trust this Obama guy... I think he lies a lot. First he says he's 52, and then the next year he's 53. Which one is it?"

"Why should you always take at least two Baptists with you when you go fishing? Because if you take only one he will drink all your beer."

"""I love you...conditionally."" -Cats"

"My bartender offered me a new drink last night called a ""Sandy."" It's a watered-down Manhattan."

"Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami? At the Nelson Mandeli."

"Why is the mushroom so happy ? Because he's a FUN-GUY :P"

"How is Bud Light like sex on the beach? they're both fucking close to water"

"I've just been fired from my job at the clock-making factory... ...must have been all those extra hours I've been putting in."

"19 people got trampled at the Berlin Love Parade?! That's like if the War on Terror resulted in more terrorists!"

"The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting Then it brought me down"