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Joke of the Day

"Do you wanna play lion tamer? she asks: ""What is that?"" you say: It's when you get on all fours and I put my head in your mouth."

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"What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ? Petal !"
"two chromosomes responsible for a divorce Ex and Why"
"What is an apt gift for a female porn star that collects vintage comic books? An issue of *Giant Sized Man-Thing*"
"All my life I thought air was free... until I bought a bag of Chips!!!"
"I met a sick bird yesterday that got deported. The cops kept yelling about him being an ""ill-eagle""."
"[tv commercial] me: ""know what i'd love for breakfast?"" mum: ""what's that son?"" me: ""if someone pre-chewed my food"" narrator: ""porridge"""
"Next year is going to be directed by Hideaki Anno... It'll be 2015+1"
"""BE CAREFUL! I HAVE OSTEOPOROSIS!"" She snapped."
"Best part about marriage? NO MORE CONDOMS!!! Worst part about marriage? No more sex."