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Joke of the Day

"Mattel has a campaign urging girls to pursue their limitless potential. It's called You Can Be Anything Except A Woman With Barbie's Body."

"What do you get if you run in front of a car? A: Tired Bonus Follow-up Joke! Q: What do you get when you run behind a car? A: Exhausted"

"My dream guy is hot, funny and smart. And he'll ask me to marry him with a green lantern ring. And he has powers. And a castle. And Yoshi."

"I once submitted 10 puns to a contest to see which one would win. No pun in 10 did."

"My grandparents were fighting over a hamburger it was aged beef."

"""The Godfather"" teaches us that: 1. Nothing is more important than family and 2. Our families are always trying to kill us."

"The pot called the kettle black. The pot is silver............we now have a situation in the kitchen."

"Today I was on Crimea St It was flooded."

"My cat freaked out when I told him he was adopted. Granted, I spelled it out on the floor with a laser pointer."

"Two gay deer walk out of a gay bar and one turns to the other and says, ""Man, I can't believe I blew 40 bucks in there!"""