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Joke of the Day

"I once submitted 10 puns to a contest to see which one would win. No pun in 10 did."

"How do you make Holy Water? You boil the Hell out of it."

"Ops mom Wait... shit."

"I'm doing the vacuuming.. It doesn't need doing but it's a legitimate way of annoying the kids"

"Me: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Me: When you fell from a really high distance. Dating as an atheist is hard."

"What's the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old."

"I never knew so many 14 year old rednecks used reddit... Then I found r/The_Donald"

"Me: so what are you wearing sexy? Collection agency: umm...we'll just call back tomorrow"

"I love getting Halloween candy... It makes me Snicker(s)."

"Don't believe in climate change, rap fans? Tell that to Vanilla Slush, Water Cube, and LL Warm J."