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Joke of the Day

"Two gay deer walk out of a gay bar and one turns to the other and says, ""Man, I can't believe I blew 40 bucks in there!"""

"Just had curried pelican for lunch... Not bad, but the bill was enormous."

"I don't have to be attractive. I am an asshole. Women swarm to me."

"Q: what do you call an orange Jew? A: Ivanka trump"

"Hilary Clinton is elected president ... FTFY"

"Why is NTFS healthy? Because it's FAT free."

"Jesus' Greatest Miracles: 3) Turning water to wine 2) Raising Lazarus 1) Maintaining a milky-white complexion in a desert climate for 33 yrs"

"What's the pound's new name? The ounce"

"99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code Take one down, patch it around, 126 bugs in the code"

"ALIEN: You Earthlings have many technological advances. How do you predict the weather? ME: We pull a rodent out of a box."