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Joke of the Day

"What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? How do you find an egg in all this shit?"

"What you call a responsible porn star? Fistfully conservative!"

"What was the most privileged region conquered by Julius Caesar? Cis-Alpine Gaul."

"The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. ...Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder."

"Why did the tomato blush red? Because it saw salad dressing! :D Just like I saw your mom dressing Cause she's a skank Come at me, Reddit. Come at me"

"What happens when you mock the host of Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives? The guy gets fierious."

"What's worse than a Jimmy John's full of dead babies? A Subway full of live ones."

"I put on my favorite disco album yesterday. My wife tried telling me disco was dead. I said ""No honey, it's not. You're thinking of your mother."

"Me: I didn't get anything this year. Do you think Santa's magic...is running out? Wife: Santa isn't real Me: Don't lie to save my feelings"

"People reckon I'm too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they're stupid)"