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Joke of the Day

"Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said: ""You're a lot like a math exam."" I replied ""Why? Because I'm long and hard?"" She said, ""No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."""

"What did one British tampon say to the other British tampon? We're bloody-well stuffed."

"Always watch your step on an escalator. I once tripped and fell down the stairs for an hour and a half"

"Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says ""How do you drive this thing? """

"Mickey is getting a divorce ""mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was...... extremely silly?"" ""no, i said she was fucking goofy"""

"They asked what was my dream position Turns out, ""doggie style"" is not the correct answer."

"I dated a soccer player once. I also learned a new word that's in poor taste to yell out during climax."

"I've never met an exam I've liked... They've all been too testy for me."

"What is the definition of irony? Having a democratic debate in a city that was destroyed by over 50 years of democratic rule."

"Always hide you prescription bottles from your medicine cabinet so ppl don't know how crazy you are. Also, you're now out of xanax."