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Joke of the Day
"""This is your captain speaking"" ""AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."""
Next Joke
"The diamond ring on your finger says ""married"" but the reveling clothes you are wearing says ""still looking."""
"My GF spent $49 on a haircut. Had she gone to Petsmart she'd have gotten an ear cleaning, anal gland extraction and a free bandana as well."
"I stay awake at night wondering... I stay awake at night wondering if hooked on phonics has a hotline for addicts."
"We are family, even though you're fatter than me Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, ""We are family, even though you're fatter than me."" -"
"I was called a village idiot today which really upset me. I live in a city."
"A calculus lecture at a college Only four students are present. Suddenly six students get up and leave the auditorium. The professor thinks: ""If two more come in, there will be no one left!"""
"What did Elton John call his tribute to Mother Teresa? Sandals in the Bin"
"What do you call a fishing prostitute A Hooker"
"I'm sorry but shits and giggles don't sound like things I want to have happen at the same time."