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Joke of the Day

"I stay awake at night wondering... I stay awake at night wondering if hooked on phonics has a hotline for addicts."

"How do you clean a seat for a woman? Wipe your face"

"I was at a posh resturaunt last night but the pianist was awful He just kept playing bottom C over and over. Really lowered the tone."

"Clinton is MY president! His second term is about to end but I truly loved his presidency -Sent from internet explorer"

"Your momma is so mean... she has no standard deviation."

"I feel like grabbing a random kid by the shoulders and screaming ""I'm you from the future!"""

"What do a dog and a near-sighted gynecologist have in common? They both have wet noses."

"Pet Shopping Paddy says ""Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."" ""fuck that"" says Mick ""have you seen how many of their owners go blind"""

"There are three types of people in this world Those who can count, and those who can't."

"What is the first symptom of AIDS? Pounding in the anus"