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Joke of the Day

"So these two blind men tried to start a glasses business, but they were always arguing... ...guess they couldn't see each others vision."

"My new baby is the image of his father. Never mind. just so long as he's healthy."

"I put the ""arse"" in ""arsenic"". I also put the ""arsenic"" in your ""morning coffee"". Revenge is best served with a donut."

"What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common? They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!"

"I bet my butcher 50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said ""No, the steaks are too high""."

"ME: will it hurt? DR: u ever been stung by like, 500 bees? ME: omg no! DR: ok. that's not what it's gonna feel like. I was just wondering"

"At school we were always taught the pull-out method doesn't work... ...but like many teenagers, it hasn't stopped the UK trying anyway."

"A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar. The bartender asks, ""Is this a joke?"""

"Sometimes I think I have ADD, if I try to...... Turtle."

"How do you stop a Mexican tank? You shoot the people pushing it."