149522

Joke of the Day

"I bet my butcher 50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said ""No, the steaks are too high""."

"Was watching tv with your wife Stupid bitch, took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes"

"People always freak out when I start playing their kid like a bass. It's like chill, you can play him like a bass too once I finish the song"

"'So where do you work?' 'I work for the World Health Organisation' 'Who?' 'That's right'"

"Me: ""OMG, my abs are so sore!"" 12: (sarcastically) ""What abs?"" Me: ""The abs hiding under this protective layer of you're grounded."""

"My favorite thing about camping is when I stay home & don't."

"Doctor's Office Roses are red Violets are blue I have an uncomfortable Bladder issue"

"Me: [crouching next to my friend] man, some of these guys take paintball so seriously Log We Are Hiding Behind: freeze"

"How busy can you actually be if you just took the time to change your online status to say so."

"Alien 1: ""Did the humans get our message?"" Alien 2: ""Yeah, but they named it dub-step and dance to it."""