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Joke of the Day
"It's Friday! I'm as happy as a newborn in a topless bar!"
Next Joke
"*tries online dating* Oh...oh no *tries real life dating* Ok this is actually worse somehow"
"How do you call a person that is afraid of people homophobic"
"What kind of birds go to church every Sunday? Birds of Pray"
"You know what they say about big hands... Big clock."
"Pistorius.....Sounds like something Harry Potter would say to make your legs fall off."
"Why is it easier to shit on fat people? More surface area"
"If I really wanted to end my life I'd probably do it by wearing a Star Trek uniform to the Star Wars Force Awakens premier."
"The girl I have a date with tonight texted and said 'I have no gag reflex ;) ' So I guess that means I'm taking her to a Nicolas Cage movie"
"[1st date] Her: we should keep religion out of this *religion gets up & leaves the table* Me: see what u did? *I get up and chase after it*"