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Joke of the Day

"""I take pride in my job. I transport the worlds most precious cargo"" -oh, u drive a school bus? ""LMAO Hell no! I'm a drug smuggler u nerd"""

"Why did the podiatrist want to change careers? Because he always felt defeat."

"Did you hear about the short sighted circumsizer? He got the sack"

"The girl I have a date with tonight texted and said 'I have no gag reflex ;) ' So I guess that means I'm taking her to a Nicolas Cage movie"

"Did you ever try to shave your own butthole? It's a real pain in the ass."

"There's no mirrors in this self checkout?!?"

"Why does anal porn never have a good plot? Too many loose ends."

"Flight Attendant: ""Here is the extra blanket you asked for."" Me: ""Thanks. Could you jam it into that guy's mouth?"""

"People say I never explain myself enough..."

"How do you get to the top of a weather beacon? Climate"