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Joke of the Day

"Restaurant Hostess: ""Sorry about the wait."" Me: ""It's okay, you don't need to apologize for being overweight."""

"Husband and AC Comparison Position of husband is like a split A.C. No matter how loud he is outside, but inside the house, he is designed to remain silent, cool & controlled by remote."

"I saw a baby in a carriage holding a chocolate bar. It's mother wasn't around. So i took it, tore it open and ate it, right in front of the chocolate bar."

"What is the objective of jewish football? To get the quarter back."

"I wonder if anyone on death row ever picked an all you can eat buffet for their last meal & just ate really slowly forever. Boom. Loophole."

"What punch line is sure to get upvotes no matter how many times it gets posted? ""I don't know I just fly the drone"""

"I got a black girlfriend now. I burned my hand on the stove."

"Hey, guy who sniffs wine then talks about its oakiness or whatever, could you stop being a serial killer"

"A student asks another student, ""How many zeroes does your salary have?"" He responds ""One"" ""In which currency?"" ""Any :("""

"US Naval Communications"