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Joke of the Day

"What punch line is sure to get upvotes no matter how many times it gets posted? ""I don't know I just fly the drone"""

"Someone left a flyer on my windshield asking me to envision heaven, so I pictured a world where no one leaves flyers on my windshield."

"I've just started work as a human chess piece. The money's good, I'm on knights this week."

"What time is it in New York City? 5 past Lundqvist"

"*moonwalks into office* *draws dual finger guns* *fires off seven shots at Annie from HR* *holsters guns* *gets chosen for random drug test*"

"""911 what's your em-"" STAMPEDE ""slow down sir"" IN THE GORGE ""sir I'm gonna need you t-"" SIMBAS DOWN THERE"

"My sister was in love with a Mexican guy. She wanted him to marry her but he went home to Mexico... ... I guess he's the Juan that got away."

"TIFU Reverse Cowgirl"

"I bought my friend an elephant for his room He said: ""Thank you."" I said: ""Don't mention it."""

"Why do aliens only abduct white people? Because they are easier to see in the dark."