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Joke of the Day

"I got a new cat from the inner city shelter. So far he seems fine, except for needing to go outside every hour for a cigarette."

"*strips naked* ""Magic mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"" Cops: he knows we can see him from this side, right?"

"Why does a rooster watch TV ? For hentertainment !"

"""Will he ever wake up?"" He's been in a coma for 3 weeks but watch this. *starts playing Pitbull* *patient wakes up to turn off the music*"

"[interview] Any questions? ""Why isn't Bigfoot called Bigfeet?"" No about working here ""Oh! If he worked here would you call him Bigfeet?"""

"Two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets of Rome... One turns to the other and says, ""Wow, I've never come this way before!"" The other nun says, ""Oh, it's the cobblestones!"""

"Two guys walk into a bar The third one ducks"

"NSFW: Sperm 1: God I'm getting tired! How long 'til we reach the fallopian tubes? Sperm 2: Still a long way to go..........We've only passed the tonsils."

"Instead of the standard 140, people should only be allowed as many characters as they have IQ points."

"Married With Children is a hilarious sitcom until you're 35 and realise it's a chilling documentary."