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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other..."

"I almost got fired for watching internet porn at work. Instead I got fired for masturbating."

"What do you call 3 agnostics sitting at a bar? I don't know."

"I like to send out texts saying ""Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?"" Just to see who`s dumb enough."

"One day, my mother barged into my room and screamed, ""Turn off that gangsta rap music!"" I was listening to Lecrae..."

"Is light a wave or a particle? Yes"

"How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?"

"""Nope. Nope. Yeah right. Nope. Close! Nah. Nope. Almost! Hahaha, you're terrible at this."" - piece of popcorn stuck between teeth."

"Him: You have such a beautiful soul. Me: It's photoshopped."

"I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery... He thanked me."