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Joke of the Day

"Now that gay marriage is legal, my uncle can marry his boyfriend Dre! What a double entendre! I made this up and am very proud."

"If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids said ""Mom, you're not funny"", I could buy a beach house. And live by myself."

"I would make a fitness joke But it just wouldn't work out.."

"What did the surgeon say to his constipated patient? Cut that shit out!"

"Why didn't Steven jobs get treated for cancer? an apple a day keeps the doctor away"

"Tom Hanks is extremely polite... In fact, every time someone asks him for an autograph, he's the one that ends up saying ""T.Hanks"""

"What do you call a cow with no right legs? Lean beef."

"What kind of ears does an engine have? Engineers"

"I just ran out of tissues... Lately, it's been coming in handy"

"SCIENCE JOKE A NEUTRON WALKS INTO A BAR AND ASKS THE BARTENDER AND SAID, ""HOW MUCH DOES A DRINK COST?"" The bartender replies "" For you no charge."""