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Joke of the Day
"When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome, it just happened."
Next Joke
"Why do blondes have bruises around their belly buttons? Because blonde guys are stupid too."
"A photon checks into a hotel... And the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies, ""No, I'm traveling light."""
"I will not be giving shelter to any men in my bunker after the apocalypse only women, and there is a dress code.... #Doomsday2012"
"How do you get a philosopher off your porch? Pay him for the pizza."
"What do you call an egg that always gets picked on? The butt of every yolk :("
"Me: Time travel Interviewer: what's your biggest stren- holy shit"
"DATE TIP: Hold doors. Pull the chair out for your date. Burp your date. Change your date oh god you are on a date with a baby ok stay cool"
"Why did the lebo cross the road? To fuck a chicken Why did 20 lebo's cross the road? Cause the chicken was winning"
"I was listening to a Lewis Grizzard tape the other day and I realized that r/jokes better call him up and ask for their jokes back."