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Joke of the Day

"Apparently just because your dad had a bunch of DUI's, the cops won't accept ""tradition"" as an excuse as to why you're driving drunk."

"Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afganistan? Because there's a target on every corner."

"Trump is going to take out these mexicans... juan by juan."

"Sinead O'Connor has gone missing whilst going out on a bike ride. I'll start to get worried when it's been seven hours and fifteen days"

"What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment."

"How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them!"

"Twitter has lost 90% of my tweets. Great! Now I've got nothing to show for the last two years. Nothing."

"Just lasted over an hour in bed... Thank you day light savings"

"Why do flamingos stand on one leg? If they lifted the other leg they'd fall over."

"Why did the band Nickelback get booed at the football halftime show? Because they suck."