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Joke of the Day

"Q: How can you tell a blonde is being unfaithful? A: Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for penicillin."

"What do you get when you cross a border collie with a pit bull? A dog that is smart enough to bury the bodies."

"[Calls boss] I'm gonna be late... ""How late?"" *Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you..."

"You can literally take anything from anyone as long as you shout ""police emergency"" and run away"

"First person: Do you know how to save five lawyers who are drowning? Second person: No. First person: Good!"

"The coolest Superhero would be The Inaudible Woman."

"What's Beethoven's favorite favorite Japanese weapon? Ka-ta-na-na!"

"Just played the new Hillary Presidency Simulator I don't know why it's called Fallout 4 though."

"[PAPARAZZI] Bugs Bunny is it true u were shot by Elmer Fudd [BB]sips drink that's ridiculous water shoots out of holes No more questions"

"I have a friend named miles But he moved to Europe so now he goes by Kilometers."