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Joke of the Day

"How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist"

"In retrospect, dressing as a killer whale when I was assigned to assassinate the Pope wasn't my best idea. I blame Ubisoft, honestly."

"Q: Why did the bear run around his bed? A: He wanted to catch up on his sleep."

"Where does a black Jew stand? At the *back* of the gas chamber."

"Him: Have you ever been so drunk that you... Me: Yes Him: But I didn't finish... Me: The answer is yes"

"Smartest joke I have I went to a bed and breakfast the other day that said that they served breakfast at any time. So I ordered some scrambled eggs during the Neolithic"

"A Jewish girl asks her father for $50 ""$40 dollars!"" he says, ""Why do you need $30?!""."

"My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart."

"Dad always said, ""Never get on one knee for a girl... ...who won't get on both for you."""

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken"