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Joke of the Day

"How did I sleep in college? I slept like a baby... I woke up every two hours to vomit, shit myself and cry myself back to sleep."

"Autocorrect just changed faux pas to faux pasta and this gluten war has gotten out of hand."

"Wife caught me whacking off to golden shower porn... Boy was she pissed"

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong sock this morning :("

"I gave an elderly hare viagra but it died I guess old rabbits die hard"

"What did the cat cough up when it was sick? Meowcus"

"Why do Kenyans always win marathons? At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-"

"Why are football grounds odd ? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits !"

"Lost my girlfriend due to religion I'm pretty much numb to beheadings at this point."

"A security camera caught a couple having sex in an elevator. .... They got off on the eighth floor.... then they straightened their clothing and exited the elevator on the 14th floor."