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Joke of the Day

"Lost my girlfriend due to religion I'm pretty much numb to beheadings at this point."

"Gynecologist: ok, I just need you to open up... Me, interrupting: As a middle child, I never felt good enough. Gynecologist: Um, your legs"

"Why did the hipster's mouth hurt? Because he ate pizza before it was cool."

"Everything my boy friend ever said to me was a lie. Every. Fcuking. Thing. Except the part about how pretty I was, that was true."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? A pizza can feed a family"

"Hey Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the sperm bank? He was caught drinking on the job."

"FUN PRANK: tweet ""going hang gliding!!!!"" then don't tweet again for 12 years"

"Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it? Elf-raising flour of course."

"How do bees get to school ? By school buzz !"

"Yay it's payday! *pays bills That was short lived."