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Joke of the Day
"Omg, autocorrect! For the millionth time, I don't hate all those birches..."
Next Joke
"How do you know if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick would taste like blood"
"What do Nazis do on a beach vacation? They ride on Adolf-in no? I'll see myself out."
"WHAT DO WE WANT?!?!! WHAT DO WE WANT?!?!? LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES!!! WHEN DO WE WANT EM?!?!? *NEEEEEYYYYOOOOOOOOWWWW* Edit: Wow, this really took off."
"Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me, because it's comfortable... Who cares if you can see my balls?"
"What is the worst icebreaker? The Titanic"
"My therapist asked me, ""How would leaving twitter make you feel?"" I replied by asking him, ""How would switching therapists make you feel?"""
"Why does the police officer get up early in the morning? To beat the crowds."
"I learned that 17th century French royalty depleted their treasury... I guess you could say they were baroque."
"I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner."